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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28590897">the idiocy of it all</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/never_bloom_again/pseuds/never_bloom_again'>never_bloom_again</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Criminal Minds (US TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(except shaw but he is a dick so what do you expect), 5 times people call luke slow, 5+1 Things, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Insecurity, M/M, Post-Prison Spencer Reid, Protective Spencer Reid, and one time his intelligence is recognised, ew ikr, insecure luke alvez, no one actually means to upset luke :(</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:34:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,070</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28590897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/never_bloom_again/pseuds/never_bloom_again</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>five times that luke is called slow, and one time that his intelligence is recognised</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. calvin shaw</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi!! welcome to my new fic! this is once again one of my contributions to insecure luke... i hope you enjoy! this will be 6 chapters, the first five will be 500 words and who knows how long the final one will be... not me!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Let’s face it, compared to Doctor Reid and the reputation of the rest of your team, you’re slow, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It shouldn’t have hurt. Shaw was a criminal, a murderer. He was down there with the lowest of the low. His opinion shouldn’t have mattered. Luke shouldn’t have cared what Shaw had to say about him or his intelligence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke wondered if it wasn’t so much who the words were coming from - in fact he suspected that had little bearing on the matter - but rather the fact that they had been said at all, after so long, once he had thought had finally escaped them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All through school, he had been slow, whether one asked his parents, teachers or his peers. Luke just wasn’t any good at learning in a classroom - nothing made sense when it was just words on a page, or a monotonous lecture. Being the slow kid sucked, particularly when he knew he wasn’t as dumb as everyone treated him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thankfully things got better once he joined the army - his skills were recognised. He didn’t have to sit in a classroom, learning by rote - instead it was hands on. Luke was no longer slow - he was a good ranger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It hadn’t occurred to him for a long time, himself being slow, and that made Shaw’s harsh reminder sting more. He was stupid enough not to realise how hopelessly inadequate he was in comparison to the rest of the BAU, who all had degrees in various fields, and had years of training and experience as profilers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It felt more real, this time, more accurate than it had when he was a teenaager or a kid. Shaw was right. But Luke couldn’t let him know that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words stuck in the back of his mind even as he continued to speak to Shaw, telling him exactly what he knew, and was willing to reveal, if he didn’t begin protecting Spencer. He played on Shaw’s assumption of his stupidity to add to the shock value and force of what he had to say. Luke had to make sure Spencer would be protected - he hadn’t known the doctor for very long, but he could already tell that he didn’t think he would be able to cope if someone hurt him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke was willing to do anything to get Spencer out alive and safe, and he hoped desperately that his plan, threatening Shaw, was smart enough to help achieve that, despite his rapidly failing confidence telling him that no, it was not, and that it was stupid of him to think that it would ever be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he left, he was already trying to brainstorm ways that he could help the team, well into the future, to make up for the fact that he wasn’t anywhere near as smart as the rest of them were. At least Shaw had made Luke once again aware of his deficiencies in that regard. He’d use it, rather than just let it be a painful reminder.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. emily prentiss</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was a difficult case, and tensions were running high. A child’s life was in their hands - he had been missing for over a day, and while the team felt as though they were close to finding him, they seemed to have plateaued, and were desperately searching for any leads they could get.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke sat with Tara and Spencer, looking through all the evidence they had again and again, wondering what they had missed that could give them just that bit more information that they needed. They knew all too well what could happen if they didn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emily, normally a relatively calm and collected leader, was running around frantically, ordering the team what to do, when she came over to the three of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alvez! I need you to go and help with the search party - you’re just going to slow these two down, and they need more men out in the field.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knew what she meant - Tara and Spencer had more experience working through evidence and profiling, they were smarter and more efficient. Luke on the other hand had always been in the field - he was a fugitive hunter, he had been in the army, it was what he knew, and it was where his talents were.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That didn’t lessen the sting of the order though - he was just trying to help, not “slow them down,” and he was doing his best. He knew it was just Emily taking out her anger about the case on him, but surely she didn’t have to imply that he was stupid - all that achieved was distracting him from the case, pulling him into his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke knew that having people in the field was important, he knew that they needed as many people as they could to be looking for this boy, but it felt like a dismissal, it felt like it was a job only being given to him because she had to give him something to do. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had always felt valued on the team - even though Luke knew he wasn’t as intelligent as the rest of the team were, the talents he did have had always been acknowledged and appreciated - he had never been treated as though he was dragging the team down, not like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it had just been the team babying him at first, and now they felt they could be honest. Maybe now that they knew that there wasn’t the risk of him just getting up and leaving the team, they wouldn’t pretend he was useful or intelligent. Not that they should have to - Luke was a fully grown man. He didn’t need to have his feelings coddled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He needed to stop acting so stupid and go do what he was told, Luke reminded himself. His ego wasn’t what was really on the line here - it was a young boy's life that was, and he would do his best to find him (and try to prove his place on the team at the same time.)</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hope you enjoyed!! let me know what you thought :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. penelope garcia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Look, Newbie? I know you weren’t exactly hired for your brains, but seriously, you can’t be this slow, can you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m trying to solve this, I think I’m almost there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke tried not to let it show on his face how much it had hurt him to hear Penelope call him slow, as he once again attempted to work out exactly what it was that the team were missing, which was easier said than done when most of his apparently limited brainpower was being wasted on considering how stupid he was, rather than the case at hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to account this to stress, or something along those lines, to provide his brain with some reason that Penelope felt the need to call out his stupidity, but he couldn’t, not this time. It was just him being thick in the head, not being able to put together something that he was sure any of his teammates could do in the blink of an eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What only added to the sting was knowing that if he had been literally anyone else, that Penelope would have jumped to help, would have worked with him to work it out. But no, he was Luke, and that meant that he got no such assistance, at least not from her, not without jokes at his own expense, which were more humiliating than not being able to work it out himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke didn’t want to be bitter over it, but it seemed easier than letting himself be upset - he was supposed to be the angry one, anyway, he was supposed to apprehend the unsubs, maybe rough them up a bit in the process (not that he could do much of that at the moment anyway, even if Luke wanted to - which he didn’t - everything that had happened with Phil had left him sidelined indefinitely).</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was horrible, too, carrying around that anger, on top of all the grief that remained, that showed no signs of going away, but not being able to share it with anyone, not being able to tell anyone he was hurting, because at least now he was dumb but strong. He couldn’t be dumb and weak.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His brand new relationship with Spencer was hardly helping, either. Not only was there the inherent knowledge that he would never be anywhere near as smart as his boyfriend, which Spencer of course would never belittle him for, but that the same people who would call him slow or dumb or an idiot would turn around and compliment Spencer on his intelligence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke knew it was selfish, but he wished that for once, he could be the one that they supported, because at least Spencer could come to him with his issues. Luke couldn’t tell his boyfriend how he was feeling though, he didn’t want to make Spencer feel guilty over the words of the team who were like a family to him, which he inevitably would, even though it wasn’t his fault.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <em>
    <span>I just have to try harder, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he considered, </span>
  <em>
    <span>I can surely make myself smarter.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. tara lewis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im sorry its been a while... im losing motivation for this story, but i absolutely refuse to leave it unfinished. the chapters may get shorter :( im really sorry</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Luke and Tara had become friends very early on, after Luke joined the BAU. Their friendship made sense - after all, they were the newest additions to the team, and although it was certainly unintentional (from all except Penelope, in Luke’s case, at least) there was always some level of exclusion. They didn’t have the history that the rest of them had together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was nice, Luke had found, to have that camaraderie, especially after he lost Phil. Tara never treated him as though he was special or some hero, like he had found many people who didn’t have the experiences the members of the team had tended to, instead, she was perfectly willing to make fun of him and tease him - Luke did the exact same thing back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re an idiot, Alvez.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t even remember the context, his mind fixated on just those few words. Luke knew that they were intended jokingly, and that they were meant in the same spirits as when they would call each other ugly, or make any other disparaging comment that they would laugh off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it didn’t feel that way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke’s brain just wouldn’t let him take it in the way it was intended, wouldn’t just let him accept it as a joke and move on, wouldn’t let him laugh with conviction and say the same back, because he knew no matter how Tara meant it, it was the truth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t her fault that what she had said had upset him, she couldn’t have known, so he did his best to fake a smile and a laugh, trying to divert just enough brain power away from his self pity to come up with some response that wouldn’t give away how he was feeling about being called an idiot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shouldn’t have to comfort him over something like that, anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wished that he could talk to Spencer about it, but Luke refused to, because he knew it would make his boyfriend feel guilty about his incredible intelligence, and Luke refused to do anything that would hurt him, especially since really, the only thing he had to offer to Spencer other than how he looked was that he could be a strong, unbreaking support. He was there to give support, not to receive it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke would just work on accepting it, on stopping getting upset about something that was just a truth that he couldn’t change.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. spencer reid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>angstangstangst. lots of angst this chapter, but i promise things will get better for luke in the next one!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Of course his boyfriend had never thought of him as smart, or anything but an idiot - Luke should never have expected otherwise, but it was still painful to have the little bit of hope in his heart crushed like a bug under a boot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They’d have to be stupid not to understand it!” Spencer had exclaimed, not to Luke, but to his old friend Alex, while discussing some book that was on the syllabus she was teaching. But it was more than some book - it was the same book that Luke had, sat tucked away next to his bed, that he had been trying to read and understand for weeks, to no avail, in a desperate attempt to have something of Spencer’s to talk about, where he didn’t have to dumb it down for Luke to understand, where Luke might actually be able to follow what he was being told.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But he was struggling to follow it - the book used Old English that read like an entirely different language, and the plot was so complex that he thought it would be confusing enough if it was written in a way that he could properly read. Luke was hardly one to just sit down and read, anyways, he liked to be up and moving, so he could barely focus. It was stupid. He was stupid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had just been trying to be a good boyfriend, even if he couldn’t be smart enough at work, but as it turned out, Luke was to dumb for that too. He needed to stop letting himself be disappointed every time he was reminded. It was just the truth, just the way it was, and he needed to accept that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After hearing Spencer say that, Luke was quick to make an exit, just saying that he would explain why he had to leave later, but that he really had to be going. If he was going to break from this, at least he could do so in the privacy of his own home. Spencer didn’t need to see that happen. He had issues of his own, and the last thing he needed were the issues of his slow boyfriend dumped upon him as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In his mind though, when he lay in bed with only Roxy’s company, he imagined he had Spencer there beside him, telling Luke that it was alright, that he was loved, and smart enough and good enough. That image would have to be enough, would have to get him through until Spencer would finally work out and be honest with himself about Luke’s misgivings - that they were too much, and that Luke just wasn’t enough.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i hope you enjoyed!! let me know what you think :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. spencer reid; pt. 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>im so sorry this has taken so long, and that the quality is so significantly diminished, but i refused to let this stay unfinished. i hope you enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Luke woke up the next morning, he had hardly been expecting to see Spencer there beside him, just as he had been wishing for the last night. It was odd, not just in that it was out of the blue, but because it was rare for Spencer to ever come over and let himself in without express permission from Luke, no matter how many times he had told him that it wasn’t necessary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hoped that his boyfriend hadn’t noticed the book that he had curled in his arms from when he had fallen asleep, and connected it with his rushed exit from his apartment last night, hadn’t realised what was happening in Luke’s mind, because Spencer shouldn’t have to deal with that, but Luke knew it was unlikely. After all, Spencer was the genius, he reminded himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke took a moment to wonder if Spencer would pick up on it if he faked being asleep, but he knew better than to even try, despite it being just about the only possibility for an escape from the conversation that the two of them were surely about to have.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“G’morning Spence,” he said softly as he sat up slowly, being careful not to disturb Roxy, who was still fast asleep at his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, Luke,” Spencer responded, pausing afterwards as though waiting for Luke to say something, but when no such thing happened, he continued on himself. “I’m, uh, sorry for dropping in unannounced, but… I wanted to check on you. You left kind of quickly last night.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It seemed as though Luke still had a chance at avoiding reminding Spencer of just how stupid he was, so he went with it, offering a smile that he hoped looked less pained than it felt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I’m fine, you don’t have to worry about me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For all that many deemed Spencer oblivious to people’s cues, he was far more observant regarding people’s behaviour than anyone gave him credit for, which of course led to him noticing the way that as he spoke, Luke made an effort to hide the book which he had been holding previously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke could see the moment it clicked in Spencer’s mind, could see just when he worked out exactly what was going on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry if I insulted you by accident, that was not what I had intended-</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine. I’m fine. I know I’m far from the sharpest tool in the shed.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trying to laugh it off, Luke hoped it wasn’t clear just how upset he was, how close he was to breaking down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” Spencer asked hesitantly, although worried as to what Luke would say, and it was all it took. The dam that had been slowly decaying for months finally broke, and no matter how hard he tried, Luke was powerless to stop it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just wish I wasn’t so stupid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence followed, Spencer’s eyebrows furrowing in concern, his mouth slightly open in shock, as though he hadn’t been expecting the admission.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know none of you mean to, but when you, when our entire team is </span>
  <em>
    <span>so goddamn smart</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it’s hard not to feel like an idiot, no matter how much I try, and I am trying, y’know?” He gestured at the book to his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke could already see Spencer formulating apologies, and stopped it in its tracks immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault I’m dumb, Spencer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But you’re not!” Spencer protested, and if he didn’t feel so utterly drained, Luke may have been tempted to roll his eyes and protest, because it was so blindingly obvious that he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I am. It’s what everyone thinks, what everyone has always thought.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spencer sighed, still frowning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry you’ve ever felt like that, Luke, you are the best person I know, and the team all know you aren’t an idiot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to believe it, so, so much, but it seemed impossible. Luke looked to Spencer, though, whose frown had been replaced with a cautious grin, as though he had an idea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ve got a better book than this one, if you want, and we can get through it together?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Luke nodded, and as they read through the pages he felt his feelings of idiocy dissipate slightly.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thank you for reading!!! :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i hope you enjoyed! let me know what you think!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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